Top 20 Stoner Confessions

This is our list of top stoner confessions. We searched the web for the funniest stoner confessions.Top 20 Stoner Confessions.

 Top 20 Stoner Confessions

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  1. I just searched my room for a lighter for a good 20 mins with the light off only using my lighter to see.
  2. I once got so high, i sat in front of the refrigerator staring at it for 2 hours without opening it a single time.
  3. One time i fix a bowl of cereal not realizing i was eating from the cat bowl. I laughed for about an hour.
  4. I once got stoned as fu#k and caught my self following traffic laws playing grand theft auto. No lie.
  5. Once, when i was high, i told my teacher my Taco Bell order instead of the answer to her question.
  6. Tried to watch Memento with about 6 other people. About half an hour in, someone pointed out that it was on mute. None of us had noticed.
  7. I was eating cereal and i blew on it to cool it down.
  8. Thought i heard Morgan Freeman narrating my life while i was in my bathroom. Turned out to be my roommate watching Bruce Almighty.
  9. Was stepping in to take a shower. one foot in i stopped and asked myself. Am i getting in or out.
  10. I was looking for my phone for a good 20 minutes. I just found it in the fridge.
  11. The first time i used a bong i thought you drank the water inside…I was wrong
  12. I ran out of rolling paper. Lit the whole thing on fire and wasted a ton o f weed. I know dumb.
  13. I took a bong rip that made me cough and choke so much that i injured my ribs. I’ve been smoking for years.
  14. I was so high last night i accidentally through my bag of weed in the kitchen trash. Took me 2 hours to find it today.
  15. We were so high that we made a 14 page power point on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
  16. Went to communication class, teacher asked me to do a quick introduction speech. I said “hi my name is”; laughed for 2 min, apologized, walked out and immediately dropped the class.
  17. Driving around smoking blunt, realized there was a cop in front of me so i followed him around for over 20 mins so he couldn’t pull me over.
  18. I got so high last night we search for my friend for half an hour while he helped us look.
  19. My apartment manager came to address a complaint about a weed smell, i denied it at first but was so high i forgot the joint was still in my hand. I might be getting evicted.
  20. I got so high once that i forgot the word dad so i used man mom instead.


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